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Ok, so the eagle eyed amongst you will have realised that a) i'd spelt wondering wrong (in the title of the blog) and b) i've now changed it to save any more potential embaressment...

Anyway. I haven't written in a while and lets be honest, nothing particularly exciting has happened in my life anyway.

Although, i baked my first ever cake...it's part of the "Abi Machin - domesticalise (Abi says it should be domesticate) your boyfriend in 2 weeks plan" and so far, it seems to be working. I've baked a cake all by myself. OH and i cooked for Abi too, and it was very nice!!! I wonder what's next on her list....tune in next week to find out viewers (readers)

Something a bit different today though, to end. I've written a letter/email thats been sent to the vast majority of my friends;

"Hi All

Sorry that this is a bulk email, but people have been asking me what’s wrong with me so I thought there would be no harm in telling everyone.

I think people assume that when I say I’m tired that it means I need sleep, and when I say that I can’t concentrate it means that my mind keeps wandering, but this is not the case. I don’t look ill, but that is because on the outside you cannot see that there is anything wrong with me, however on the inside I have muscle fatigue, and cannot do things for any length of time before getting physically worn out. I used to be able to cycle for miles and miles without hassle, now I struggle to do 1 mile. And the concentration thing…the words go fuzzy on a page, my eyes lack focus, but it’s not a glasses/vision related thing. It is really frustrating me not being able to do the things I want to do, and I’m sorry that I can’t do things with you, but just because I can’t, it doesn’t mean that I don’t want to, so if you could be understanding of my situation and understand that sometimes (or most of the time) I will say no, but please don’t get annoyed with me when I don’t do the things I used to do, its as annoying and frustrating for me I can promise you that.

This is really tough for me to say because I struggle with this a lot, but it needs saying. The thing I’ve found most hard during the last 6 months; is feeling lonely, feeling left out. I know some of you haven’t known how to react to my illness, and the fact that I don’t have anything visibly wrong with me has been hard for you to cope and deal with. But I want you to know that at times I’ve felt left out, alone, sometimes even unwanted. Sometimes all it takes is a phone call or a text, but sometimes I just need people to listen.

The purpose of this email isn’t for me to seem holier than thou, or for me to point out peoples flaws. The point of this email is for me to help you guys understand, so that if this happens to someone else you know, you’ll know how best to deal with it.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, means a lot.

Jono"

I think thats enough for one night.

TTFN